Why High-Functioning Minds Struggle To Let Go.

Responsibility, identity, creativity and the difficulty of ever truly switching off. I've often wondered whether some people are simply built differently when it comes to responsibility.

Not better.

Not stronger.

Not more important.

Simply different.

Most people can finish a busy day at work, close the laptop, head home and gradually switch off. They might think about work occasionally in the evening, but eventually their attention moves elsewhere. Dinner. Family. Television. A hobby. Sleep.

I've always found that fascinating. Sometimes I envy the simplicity of people who live life like that.

Because for many entrepreneurs, creators and business owners, work doesn't really end when the working day finishes. It follows you home.

Not because you want it to. It simply comes with you. It’s constantly with you.

The responsibility.

The decisions.

The ideas.

The projects.

The people.

Especially the people.

As an entrepreneur and creator myself, I've realised over the years that one of the heaviest things you carry isn't actually the work itself.

It's the responsibility attached to it.

When you work alone, you're responsible for your own success or failure.

It looks like such an easy job on the surface – everyone’s dream, the “you’re so lucky” comments I’ve heard countless times.

Truth is there’s far more than just luck that goes into creative projects and making a living from them! In fact, the creative part plays such a small part than the reality behind the scenes. This is true for any job, and I am always interested in behind the scenes than the surface.

When you begin building something larger, suddenly you're responsible for so much more than your passion.

And if you’re not careful this can stifle your creativity and passions.

You become responsible for every aspect of your work from pre to postproduction and everything else in between including other people! And you never really, fully put it all down for long.

You hire assistants because you need support. You trust them. You know they're capable. In many cases they do an excellent job.

Yet part of your mind never fully lets go.

Not because you don't trust them.

Because you care.

You find yourself wondering whether everything is running smoothly. Whether they have enough support. Whether they're overwhelmed. Whether you've communicated clearly enough.

You carry the work, but you also carry the people.

I don't write this seeking sympathy.

In fact, most of us choose this path willingly because we love what we do.

There is something incredibly rewarding about taking an idea that only exists inside your imagination and bringing it into reality.

Watching something grow from a thought into something tangible is one of the most satisfying experiences I've ever known.

The problem is that the same mind capable of creating those visions often struggles to switch itself off.

Creative minds are funny things.

They need freedom.

Space.

Silence.

Time to wander.

Yet the very lifestyle we've built often works against that.

The more responsibility we acquire, the harder it becomes to access the mental space that made us creative in the first place.

It's a strange contradiction.

Freedom is often the reason people become entrepreneurs.

Yet freedom comes packaged with a weight many people never see.

From the outside it can all look quite glamorous.

People see the finished product.

The photos.

The business.

The lifestyle.

The flexibility.

They rarely see the internal dialogue running constantly beneath the surface.

The calculations.

The contingency plans.

The ideas.

The problem solving.

The pressure.

The many sleepless nights and functioning on caffeine powered energy.

And that’s all before life itself is thrown into the mix!

The quiet mental load that never fully leaves. And it’s hard to find others who can truly understand and relate to the life you’re building. Because for many creators and entrepreneurs it’s so much more than a job or career it’s a lifestyle!

Sometimes I think one of the most underrated experiences in life is simply feeling understood.

Not fixed.

Not advised.

Not analysed.

Understood. It sounds simple and it is but it’s also rare in my experience. But the simple things are always turn out to be the most satisfying.

There is something deeply comforting about somebody looking at you and saying: "I get it."

Especially when they genuinely do.

Because some experiences are surprisingly difficult to explain to people who haven't lived them.

Not because they're incapable of understanding.

Simply because their frame of reference is different.

I've noticed that many people assume responsibility is something you carry during working hours.

For some of us, it's more constant than a schedule. There is no start or finish time.

And over time you become so accustomed to carrying things that you almost forget how to put them down.

You become the reliable one.

The capable one.

The person who always figures things out.

The person who always carries it. The one who will “deal” with it.

Until eventually you become so practised at being switched on that being switched off feels unfamiliar.

Which is perhaps why I love those strange 3am moments so much.

The world feels different then.

The noise has stopped.

The notifications are silent.

Nobody needs anything from you.

Nobody is waiting for a decision.

Nobody is asking for your time or attention.

For a brief moment, the world becomes still.

I've always loved that feeling. Just alone with your thoughts.

There's something incredibly peaceful about being awake when the rest of the world appears to have paused.

The energy feels different.

You can hear the silence. I know that sounds funny, but you can and in that silence my mind begins to settle.

It's often the closest I come to laying down all the identities I carry throughout the day and simply existing as myself.

Of course, the following morning isn't always grateful for these late-night philosophical adventures.

But somehow, they still feel necessary. It’s time to just be. To settle into myself.

The modern world isn’t set up for calm clarity; with social media and technology it’s geared towards constant noise and availability and it’s so easy to get swept up in all that especially if you have a curious mind that never stops and is already overloaded. It’s overstimulating and this is where burnout creeps in.

I've often wondered whether this inability to fully switch off is connected to something deeper.

When I was younger, I was often told I was too sensitive.

Too emotional.

Too much in my own head.

I was told I had my head in the clouds or living in a dreamworld.

For years I viewed those things as weaknesses.

Something to correct or supress. Now I want to EXPRESS myself because this is extremely important for deep creative minds.

It has made others feel uncomfortable not because I was doing something wrong, but because we were often looking at life through very different lenses. Not everyone spends their time exploring those parts of themselves, just as not everyone feels the need to question everything, analyse everything or understand why they think and feel the way they do.

In fact, I suspect many of the things that have served me best in life are the very things I spent years trying to fix.

The ability to think deeply.

To feel deeply.

To imagine.

To question.

To notice things other people overlook and be enthusiastic about life.

These are in fact incredible gifts to develop, not hide.

I've come to see sensitivity differently.

Not as fragility.

But as awareness.

There is a cost to experiencing life deeply.

You notice more.

You feel more.

You carry more.

But there are gifts hidden within that too if you channel them correctly.

I've often wondered whether some people simply experience life with the volume turned up slightly higher.

Not better.

Not worse.

Just differently.

Perhaps that's why letting go can feel so difficult.

And perhaps that's also why I find human behaviour so endlessly fascinating.

Over the years I've seen something interesting.

Many highly capable, successful and responsible people seem drawn towards experiences that are the complete opposite of their daily lives.

The person who spends their life making decisions sometimes wants freedom from decision-making.

The person carrying responsibility wants relief from responsibility.

The person constantly in control occasionally wants permission to stop being in control.

I don't think that's weakness.

If anything, I think it's profoundly human.

Perhaps what people are looking for isn't surrender itself.

Perhaps they're seeking relief.

A temporary release from the weight of carrying so much.

A moment where somebody else takes over and says, “I’ve got this” without having to explain what you need.

A moment where the noise stops.

The more I think about these things, the more fascinating they become.

Identity.

Responsibility.

Achievement.

Pressure.

Freedom.

Control.

Letting go.

They seem far more connected than we often realise but we rarely have the time to stop and think about them.

I’ve seen others struggle and stay in confusion or limbo trying to supress feelings, emotions and thoughts instead of embracing and exploring them.

Coincidentally, as I write this, Who Are You by The Who has just started playing in the background. If the universe has a sense of humour, its timing is impeccable.

I digress slightly... the older I get, the less interested I become in finding definitive answers.

What interests me now are the questions.

Why do some people struggle to switch off while others seem able to do it effortlessly?

Why do we run and hide from ourselves?

Why are we drawn towards certain experiences?

What are they really giving us?

What needs are they fulfilling beneath the surface?

I don't know that I'll ever fully answer those questions.

Part of me thinks there isn’t a definitive answer and that’s partly what makes people so fascinating. It’s different for all of us, but in hearing other perspectives it expands our own mind and helps us understand ourselves better – and if you’re like me probably leaves you asking even more questions.

Because the human mind is far too interesting to reduce to simple explanations. I also wonder whether we were ever meant to stay the same. Perhaps part of being human is expansion. Not becoming more. Becoming more of ourselves.

And perhaps letting go doesn't begin when we stop thinking.

Perhaps it begins when we stop fighting the fact that we do and turn and face ourselves.

Because sometimes the moment we stop resisting ourselves, part of the struggle quietly releases itself too.

I’d love to know what you think too.

There are a few things taking shape behind the scenes that I'm not quite ready to share publicly yet.

If you'd like to be the first to hear about them, my newsletter is the best place to follow along.

Curious for more? Then step inside my private world here.